“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
Taylor and I had the blessing to attend a spiritual retreat this weekend. We were asked 'what is the state of your soul'. We have now been in Ethiopia for 2 months and I feel like we are adjusting and settling into a rhythm where we are starting to hear God more and watching for where He is working more than initially.
However, I realized that the state of my soul is still restless. I could only describe it as anxious and not at rest. As I processed this with The Lord, I realized that my eyes were not remaining on Jesus. They would be there for a while, but then quickly they would waver to the "troubled waters" around me and I would start to sink into them.
My troubled waters currently are: our son Elias' struggles adjusting to life in Ethiopia, our family feeling unsettled without a physical home, feeling uncertain of what my work and ministry ultimately should look like. Interestingly, my greatest senses of unrest is because of the strange fear that I will miss out on the great things God desires to do here, that somehow I will miss out on this because I am not listening correctly or some other nebulous undefined reason.
As I processed these fears and the state of my soul with God, I realized that my eyes were wavering and so I was starting to sink. This was why my "troubles" were troubling my soul and allowed to cause this state of unrest. Troubles always exist, but they do not need to lead to us sinking or feeling unrest. We can walk through or on these waters when we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus (the author and perfected of my faith). Then I will not sink and the wind and troubled waters will not give me fear. My soul will be at rest and I can rest in The Lord- His delightful love for me, His sweetness and goodness.
My life is hidden in His and I am with Him safe and secure. He will make sure I live a life worthy of His calling and I don't miss the work He wants to accomplish. He loves my children more than I do and He will care for them and I don't need to worry about them. So Lord, please help me to fix my eyes on you and my thoughts on you!! Help me not be troubled by my troubled waters.
-Kavi
Colossians 3:1-3
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."
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